So MM just introduced me to blogspot.com I just got done writing this and was going to post it on myspace... but since I now have a blogspot… waaalaaa!
… Don’t mind me this is how I get my rocks off without permanently damaging someone’s optical nerve.
Someone right now whom I love so dearly is currently drenched in sweat, in a room where if you breathe in too deep your lungs may burst, chasing the idea of cleansing her soul.
MM has triggered this in me and thus is the source of this entry.
It can be said in many ways...Cleansing the soul, mending a broken heart, absolutely not giving a damn and getting inebriated to the point of no return… coping comes in many forms… uncontrollable shopping, tattoos, partying, bikram yoga… but in the end its avoidance… from everyone and everything that is breathing and talking. The happier the individual the farther I want to stick my fingers in their eye.
Honest Vulgarity … I just bought it.
I can judge myself and say that I am quite an optimistic person, but I have my days where the train has completely derailed and is full steam ahead. Although rare… but in occurrence I have premeditated all outcomes to flee and by then it has come to my attention that this may be the beginning of an end and everyone only gets 1 second chance if that…
Now I’m not just talking about love… I’m talking about all the silly things we do in order to escape…love just happens to affect females mightily at all stages in life. Escape not from reality… But from fighting to get our power back. Yes from fighting to get our power back. Further elaborating…
Sadly everyone I believe goes through this many times in a lifetime… I believe it is unavoidable because we are not supreme deities therefore the only thing that is controllable is the recovery time. Maybe if you are a master of portion control than that too but for most of us it is dusting off the dirt we fell in, and if aware, possibly being professional picker uppers.
The wrath of SM… Deep down inside I believe there is a point of no return. A boiling point. A fine line between acceptable to holy crap you have crossed the forbidden unforgiving line. But for some reason females are very good, professional maybe at accepting and forgiving or putting up with whoever’s crap that completely rids them of their dignity and power that soon enough the very thing they loathe has become them. Stripped of their beauty, powerless, and pissed off we blame everyone else but ourselves. That the reason we have become this product is because it was forced upon us. Which in my eyes if you ask me is bullshit. Movie: Made of Honor
Dad says to the daughter… “Every women’s love life is how she wants it to be.”
Nothing is forced on anyone. There will always be underlying reasons as to why we react or don’t.
Truth has been told no one will take care of you as good as you. Words are spoken lightly nowadays and trusting words may be just a waste of time. Actions hold a bit of accountability. But when the day comes where enough is enough I just hope there is courage within to muster up the power. Walking away may be the hardest thing but most appropriate.
The biggest challenge maybe believing in oneself but once you do that power that was taken away comes right back with a vengeance..
I’m talking to myself but because this came to me so easily I know someone may read it and stop buying excuses because excuses are expensive.
